It's been almost 6 years since I started a new journey to extreme weight loss, health, physical wellness, and emotional wellness. I had been through my own share of yo-yo diets, fitness failures, binge eating, and actually trying to test out Bulimia out of intrigue - wondering how Bulimia victims were able to gain control of their eating when I had failed over and over and over again. I also became so desperate for a "quick fix" that I gained weight on purpose so that I could talk to physicians about weight loss surgery. I didn't want to get surgery, but I saw no other way because I couldn't control my eating by myself. Food had become a source of comfort, and for someone who knew nothing about what chemicals, additives and preservatives did to my body, I used food as an escape. Yet, food was one of the things that were causing me the most harm.
We have all felt that moment of desperation, despair, and fear. How on Earth am I going to get this under control? What is going to finally be the final straw? WHEN WILL I STOP FAILING?? If this is you, please hear me when I say I know exactly how you feel. I saw all of the success stories in magazines, TV shows and the never-ending online stories of people who had conquered their addiction to bad eating and unhealthy habits. Many of them gave me hope, to see that regular people just like me had been able to conquer this big battle. Some of them just made me frustrated because it seemed they had endless resources like personal trainers, nutritionists, special medical doctors, etc. Many of us "normal" people don't have these resources.
I'm not here to say my journey has been easy, because for those of you that know me personally you can attest to the fact that my world has been turned upside down and inside out over the last 6 years. I've found, and lost, many people close to me as a result of the journey. It has included saying goodbye to people and environments that were toxic, unsupportive, and detrimental to my emotional and physical wellbeing. I've gone through sexual harassment, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, PTSD, divorce, chronic illness, and fear. However, I am here standing on two feet to tell you that it has all been worth it. Without the struggles, without facing what was unhealthy in my life, I would not be where I am today. I truly believe that we are only given challenges in life that will make us stronger in the end.
The unknown is one of the hardest parts of what your journey will be. How long will it take? How many times will I have to "try again"? How much weight will I lose (if weight loss is your goal)? Will I finally find internal happiness? Will my loved ones support me in my next decision? Will my support team still be there? Will my kid(s) be proud of me? Will I feel whole? **ALL of these questions are important to face, and not avoid. We can trick ourself into thinking everything is rainbows and sunshine, but I think being real with ourselves is more important. If you want to truly change.....whatever that looks like for you...then you have to take a chance on yourself. For the last time, and for the final time.
When the fear of staying the same becomes greater than the fear of change, miracles will happen!
Your next step is to start your plan, and share it with others. This is essential to keeping you on track. The more people in your circle of support you have will increase your resources. Please let me know how I can help you on your journey. You can do this and it's time to take the first step forward.
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